How to Train Your Viking Girlfriend
by Dr. Weymin
Summary: Hiccup is in trouble when Ruffnut falls seriously in love, and convinces him that Astrid is not for real. Astrid herself gets together with Tuffnut, and both twins are feeling pretty good. Meanwhile Hiccup finds dragons with mysterious deep wounds.
1. Rule 1:Think about her every waking hour

**I do not Own How to train your dragon. It is property of PDI DreamWorks Animation. (The BEST and most superior movie company on EARTH) Please Review, and no flames please.**

CHAPTER ONE

Hiccup glided along effortlessly. Miles above the ground, speeding across the sky on the back of his dragon, Toothless. He concentrated on the path ahead, working the lever that made his dragon's tail fin move in and out, so he may fly.

The beautiful coniferous landscape rushed beneath him, as he roamed the ancient island of Berk. Then, in an instant, the land gave way to sparkling blue ocean waves that seemed to stretch on forever. He looked back. The island behind him shrank into the horizon.

As Hiccup faced forward, he was greeted by a fresh rush of wind in his face. He grinned widely. He was feeling very happy. Ever since he woke up in bed to find his dragon, Toothless, in his room, his life had taken a turn for the better. Because finding toothless in his room meant that the entire Viking island of Berk had come to accept living in harmony with the dragons that they once hunted passionately.

After he woke up on that morning, he found out that the leg that he had lost the night before was replaced with an iron peg of Gobber's own design, complete with spring action. And best of all, Astrid Hofferson had kissed him … for the second time.

He had liked Astrid since he first saw her walking from a bar riot without a scratch on her. She was acrobatic, tough, and beautiful. Everything he was not. But somehow, for reasons that he still didn't understand, she had finally accepted his love.. But he didn't question it. He just liked it. He liked _her_. He _loved_ her. He loved the way she punched him hard on the shoulder, and then leaned in to kiss him straight in his lips right afterward. And it wasn't like she was desperate, or giving herself away. It was a quick kiss, just enough to get him dizzy. Any longer, and he would pass out. He was feeling good.

It had been a week since then, and things had gone much the same. Flying with toothless, living in harmony with the dragons, and, of course, receiving punches and kisses from Astrid. He sighed dreamily. His dragon groaned silently.

'_She's just a human', _Thought Toothless. '_All you humans look the same.'_

Hiccup, who didn't speak dragon, paid him no attention. He just rode on dreamily, his eyes only half open. He didn't notice that he was entering a foggy area. He paid no attention to anyone, or anything, and just thought of his love, Astrid. He thought about her, and the enigma of why she would kiss him, when before, she hadn't even looked at him. He continued in this dreamy trance, until he was sharply awakened by his delicate Viking instincts. He heard it first, a distant flapping noise. Toothless noticed it too. His pupils narrowed to slits, his ears flattened back vigilantly. His lips curled into a snarl. Hiccup heard it getting louder and louder.

Then he saw it. It was a blurry shadow in the fog. Slowly but surely, it got larger and larger. Finally, it emerged, and flapped past quickly. Hiccup barely saw it, an enormous blurry dragon flapping on past. It was a monstrous nightmare. And it was in terrible pain. It writhed through the air, shrieking in horror. And as it tumbled on past through the sky, hiccup noticed something that the average Viking would not. He noticed a small but deep gash, exposing raw flesh. Blood oozed slowly out of it.

"What kind of creature would attack a monstrous nightmare?"

**RULE NUMBER ONE-**

**Lesson nearned:**

If you want to keep a good relationship with your viking girlfriend, then you need to think about her. Alot. It will help you to appreciate her. If you don't, well... you'd better hope she's not as tough as Astrid. And if she is, then... you'd better hope you're not as wimpy as Hiccup.

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**Sorry, I know this one was short, but hey! First ever How to Train Your Dragon Story. Hope you enjoyed it, don't forget to take a second and leave a review!**


	2. Rule 2: Always be honest with her

**Here's the second chapter . Hope you like it. Don't forget to read, review, and most of all, enjoy. And sorry about the boringness so far. I'll get to the adventure and romance ASAP.**

CHAPTER TWO

Hiccup rode home in confusion. After he saw the wounded Nightmare, he flew straight home. He would have followed it, but it disappeared into the fog before he could chase it. And another thing stopped him. He knew better than to go near a wounded dragon.

He wasn't really worried about the dragon itself. The wound would heal. The dragon would probably just remain secluded and hidden until the wound healed, returning only to eat the free fish that the Vikings now provided.

What hiccup was really worried about was the fact that a Monstrous Nightmare was actually hurt so badly by another creature; he was sure of it. The wound that he saw was not a bruise or a splinter, it was a puncture wound- undoubtedly caused by a tooth. An enormous tooth. Hiccup shuddered at the thought.

He cleared the ideas from his head. He didn't want to worry about another monster. He couldn't. The notion was ridiculous. He didn't know for sure that it was caused by another monster. After all, it could have been a jutting rock that punctured the dragon, or a branch. No need to jump to conclusions.

If he considered the possibility of some other titanic monster out there, he might start to believe it. Then he'd try to warn the tribe. And, of course, they would all think he was crazy. Perfect. Just perfect.

It was for these reasons that Hiccup put these thoughts from his head. At least temporarily. He smiled, and thought of happier things. Such as how good the wind felt in his face. Or how lucky he was that Astrid finally accepted his love. In fact, that was where he was headed to.

He was flying to the forest, where he would meet Astrid for their first actual date.

"Kind of funny," Hiccup said to himself. "She's kissed me twice before, but we've never been on a date."

Hiccup breathed deeply. His first date. He knew he shouldn't be nervous, because he knew Astrid pretty well now. But he was.

Toothless bellowed loudly as he landed on the forest floor. Hiccup climbed off his back. Toothless gave him a good luck wink and scampered off. He was now alone in the forest with Astrid.

"Hey," He said.

"Hi Hiccup," She said.

"So, you want to… walk?"

"Sure," Astrid said.

And so they walked through the forest in silence. Hiccup hobbled awkwardly on his prosthetic leg. Astrid looked at him, and twirled her hair nervously. She grinned awkwardly, and looked at hiccup.

Hiccup looked like he was about to faint. He loved the way she looked, acted, and fought. He thought she looked cute twirling her hair like that. And then he wondered again.

"Why in the world would Astrid like _me_?"

He wondered. Then he realized he said it out loud. It was just a quiet whisper, a mutter to himself. Hiccup walked on, hoping that she didn't hear him. But she looked up into his eyes.

"What did you say, hiccup?"

"On, you know… nothing." Hiccup said nervously. He looked down at his feet, hoping she would drop the matter.

"Hiccup," Astrid said. "I heard my name."

It was silent for a moment.

"Fine," Hiccup said. "I'll tell you."

Another moment of silence.

"I said, _Why in the world would Astrid like me_?" Hiccup said. He waited nervously.

"I don't know," Astrid said. "Its really hard to explain. Its just, your really cute… the way you're always nervous."

"Well, thanks. I'm glad you like it when I'm nervous," Hiccup said sarcastically.

Astrid smiled.

"But really, why do you even give me the time of day? You never used to." He said.

Astrid shifted uncomfortably. She felt like she was being interviewed to be his girlfriend. And she didn't like it. Other Viking guys were different. They just wanted to outrun her, or beat her in some feat of strength. But hiccup was different. Hiccup… she didn't know what he was after. She didn't know what kind of girl he liked. She didn't even know why she liked him in the first place.

"It's complicated…," She began. She expected for him to cut her off. But he didn't. Somehow, it just hurt more. Hiccup continued to walk in silence.

After walking for a bout twenty minutes, Astrid couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't take not knowing why she liked hiccup. Hiccup was always honest with her, so why couldn't she be honest with him? Because she didn't even know why she liked him. She didn't remember when it began; she just knew that she liked him. But right now, it was clear that it wouldn't satisfy hiccup, wouldn't be enough. And Hiccup deserved to know. But she didn't have the slightest idea what to tell him.

So finally, she said, "You know what, it's getting dark. I have to go."

And with that, she turned and ran. She ran away, as fast as she could.

_Funny_, she thought.

_I've never ran away from anything in my life. And now I'm running away from a boy. And he's completely harmless._

She didn't even kiss him goodbye. She felt so angry at herself for bailing on him like that, but she had to compose herself somewhere else. Had to find out why she even liked him in the first place.

Meanwhile, Hiccup was in the forest, not feeling good.

"Here I am, alone in the forest." He said. "Astrid had just left, and I have no idea why. I was honest, I told her what he was thinking. I asked her why she likes me, and now I'm left without an answer."

"I've got an answer for you," Said a mysterious voice from above.

Hiccup looked up, to see a silhouetted figure on a high tree branch.

"If you'll stay and chat, that is."

"Who are you?" Said Hiccup.

"Oh, you know me," Said the mysterious figure, in a girl's voice. She leapt down from the tree, and stepped into the light.

Hiccup was surprised by what he saw. It was the last person he expected… Ruffnut Thorston.

**RULE NUMBER TWO-**

**Lesson learned:**

If you want to be successful with your Viking girlfriend, you should always be honest with her. The last thing you want to do is lie, for any reason. If things begin to go wrong, then she is having an emotional teen-Viking moment, so just let her have some time alone. As long as you have done nothing wrong, then don't worry, she's probably worried that SHE did something wrong. So let her figure it out, and when she comes back, she'll be a better Viking girlfriend. Just remember that if they say something's complicated, its not because they don't want to tell you: they probably don't know themselves. This is the way of the Viking teenage girl.

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**For those of you who don't know, Ruffnut is one of the twins. She's the girl one. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, I worked hard to make it extra long, since I got four reviews for my first chapter, I figured I owed it to you guys. So if you want another speedy chapter, then please take a second to leave a review.**

**By the way, I'm serious about another chapter tomorrow, its really possible, because I have the day off tomorrow. So If you review, I can virtually guarantee it.**


	3. Rule 3: NEVER turn a viking girl down

**Okay guys, here's another chapter. Hope you enjoy it.**

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Hiccup looked surprised. He looked at Ruffnut Thorston standing before him. He had no idea what she wanted, or what she was doing here.

"Oh, uh, Ruffnut. Good to see you," Hiccup said awkwardly. "Where's your brother?"

Hiccup walked around her, as if trying to find her brother Tuffnut behind her back.

"I came here alone."

"So… what are you doing here?" Hiccup said. "Alone… in the woods… with… me."

Ruffnut wasted no time, and cut to the chase. "I heard everything, Hiccup," She said.

"Oh, heheh, really?" he said.

"So now you want an answer, huh?" Ruffnut asked.

"Well, um…"

"Don't lie hiccup, I heard it all."

"Yeah. Yeah I know."

"Well, I know the answer" Ruffnut said, examining her fingernails. "Would you like to know?"

Hiccup nodded his head curiously.

Ruffnut turned to him and said, "Even if it's painful?"

Hiccup nodded again. Now he was transfixed. He had to know.

"Well," Ruffnut said. "The reason she liked you so suddenly- the reason she won't tell you why…"

Hiccup stared. He needed to find out.

"…is because she can't." Ruffnut continued.

Hiccup looked confused. "What?" Ruffnut began circling him slowly.

"Let's put it this way," she said smoothly. "If Fishlegs were to ask you why you fight dragons, how would you answer him?"

"Oh, well that's easy." Hiccup relplied. "I'd tell him that there's no way I can answer that question, because I _don't_ fight dragons,"

"that's interesting" Ruffnut said coyly, "of course _you_ would say that"

"what do you mean _me_?" he asked desperately.

"Well, not everyone is as honest as you are Hiccup," she replied

"umm…Thanks?" Hiccup said, not really understanding how his honesty was relevant to his problem with Astrid.

"That includes Astrid," she explained.

"Wait, what?" hiccup said, clearly lost.

"You idiot!" she snapped, punching him on the shoulder. "You're as dumb as a Gronkle! Can't you see?"

"So do you make it a habit wait up in trees to jump down and insult people?" Hiccup retorted.

"No, I usually say it straight to their face,"

"So what makes me different?" Hiccup asked.

Ruffnut opened her mouth, but her eyes widened as she realized that she had nothing to say. She thought for a while.

"It's because you're the fourth ugliest Viking guy my age," Ruffnut said.

"Again, with the insults…look Ruffnut, I know you're trying to make a point, but I don't… I can't… I have no idea what you're trying to tell me."

Ruffnut kicked a tree angrily.

"Oh, all you Viking guys are so dense. Can't you take a hint?"

"Wait," Hiccup said. "Why am I supposed to be trying to find hints in the first place? Is this some kind of treasure hunt? Is it a little game to you? Well, I'm sorry if I'm playing the wrong way, but you never explained the rules."

"Well, maybe it's not easy for me to tell you!" Ruffnut growled in her husky voice.

"So why do you bother in the first place?" Hiccup asked. "Why come out here to try and tell me?"

"Because I'm not like Astrid," Ruffnut said. "I'm for real, and I'd never try to keep secrets from you."

"What?" Hiccup said, astounded. "Ruffnut, are you… are you okay?"

"Not really." Ruffnut said looking down. "I've never been okay since Astrid came along and stole you."

"Wait… you're not making sense," Hiccup said. "Who did Astrid steal me from?"

"From… she stole you from…" Ruffnut growled with frustration. She punched small tree, and it split in half. The she squared her shoulders, and faced him.

"Hiccup, I have strong feelings for you," she gasped. "I always have," she was breathing hard. "So now that I finally have the guts to say it to your face, tell me what you think."

She stared him in the face, with wide eyes. She was gripping him by the shoulders. It hurt.

"Um…" Hiccup said awkwardly. "This is a really delicate situation. And you know, Astrid also likes me…"

"No she doesn't" Ruffnut said desperately. "She's never liked you. Not for real." She waited tensely, breathing hard.

Hiccup stared at her. "Go on." He told her.

She took her hands off of his shoulder, and started to calm down and breathe slower.

"Hiccup," She said in her hoarse voice. "Do you remember when I was talking to you about why you fight dragons?"

Hiccup nodded.

"And you said you couldn't answer it, because you don't fight dragons?"

Another nod.

"And then you asked Astrid why she liked you? Well, she couldn't answer your question because she…"

"-she doesn't like me at all." Hiccup completed. He breathed shallowly as he took it all in.

"She kisses you in public because you're popular, Hiccup," Ruffnut continued in a hoarse whisper. "But did she kiss you goodbye when you were alone in the woods?"

Hiccup looked hurt. He looked into empty air, and his mouth opened in shock.

"She only 'loves' you when there are people around to see it. It makes her popular too. But when you're alone, there's no point," Ruffnut said quietly. "At least not to her,"

"Wow," Hiccup whispered. "All this time…"

"I'm so sorry for you" Ruffnut said. She put a hand gently on his arm, and frowned when there was no muscle. She dismissed the thought. Hiccup had other redeeming qualities. Things that she actually liked him for.

They waited in silence.

Finally, hiccup gently removed her hand. "Ruffnut, this is a lot to take in at once…"

"I understand," She said. "How about we meet at that salmon place for breakfast? If you need to talk…"

Hiccup smiled. "That would be great"

And with that, they both went their separate ways.

"Yes!" Ruffnut whispered to herself. "I did it. I finally did it."

She looked to the stars, and said, "I swear to Thor, I will not mess this up."

Then she disappeared into the night.

**RULE NUMBER THREE-**

**Lesson learned:**

If a Viking girl tells you that she likes you, then it was very hard for her to say so. It means that she already tried dropping you hints, and that you didn't take them. It took her a lot of guts to get up there and tell her how she feels, so it is mandatory to your success that you DO NOT TURN HER DOWN. Never, under any circumstances, should you ever turn down a Viking girl who tells you she loves you, because she has already prayed hard to Odin that you say yes. If you say no, then YOU WILL GET HURT. And then the word will spread, and no girl will ever ask you again. They'll probably still drop you hints, but if you can't pick them up, (Very few Viking guys can,) then you're pretty much doomed for the rest of your life. And since the chances of you being killed by a dragon are pretty much down to Gronkle droppings, it'll be a long and miserable life for you.

**Please tell me how you liked this chapter- I put a lot of work into it. It was pretty long, huh? Oh, and by the way, Ruffnut does have kind of a hoarse voice. I payed attention in the movie, so my descriptions are accurate. Hope you liked the chapter- please review. And also, I'm curious what you guys think of the little , "Lesson learned:" endings that I put in there. (Like the one right above) I've always wanted to find a way to share my know-how on girls with people, (I'm a guy) and I thought that the perfect way to do it was through a How to train your dragon story. Plus some adventure. (Girls, i'm pretty sure i'm not saying anything that isn't true, but if i'm wrong about anything, please feel free to correct me.) **

**Anyway, please take a second to review- if you do, I can virtually guarantee another chapter by tomorrow, (yes, it'll be long like this one)**


	4. Rule 4: Viking girls don't fake tears

**Hey you guys! I'm back with a new chapter.**

**Thanks alot for the reviews. They were all very thoughtfull. I was so happy when i read them that i began writing this chapter, right away. So thank you. **

**Oh, and I highly recommend that you listen to the song called "People just ain't no good" By Nick Caves while you read this chapter. It really helps set the mood. Just search for it on you tube. But don't play it at the beginning. I'll tell you when to start the music. Oh, and one more thing. I use an umbrella in this chapter. I realize they didn't have umbrellas back then, but it plays a good part in the chapter- so please just try to imagine a Viking- ish umbrella, I don't know… looking all rough, made of leather…**

**(Oh, and by the way, i read all of your comments about sushi, and your right, i goofed up. Thanks for telling me: If you care to look back, i changed it to salmon, instead of sushi.)**

**Please read, review, and ENJOY! (:**

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CHAPTER FOUR

Astrid woke up feeling horrible. She didn't get much sleep the night before. She was up late, scolding herself for running away from Hiccup. Astrid thought about how sad she left him. What kind of Viking would run away from the simplest question? She wasn't ready for that question. She just wasn't. Guys could be so unpredictable sometimes.

She got out of bed sighed. Astrid looked out the window. It was a gloomy day. It would probably rain. She grabbed her umbrella.

All she wanted was to have a normal date with Hiccup. Was that too much to ask for? Why did it have to go that way? Why did she have to put up with these things?

And then she realized, she didn't. She didn't have to put up with it.

"I'm gonna tell Hiccup. I'll set things straight. I know he'll understand". Astrid stood up and walked boldly out the door.

She sprinted along the steep uphill path that led to the Haddock home. The wind blew her hair back as she ran. She felt confident. Not even a rampaging Nightmare could stop her.

She dashed up the hill's summit, where the Chief's house stood tall and proud.

There, she saw Hiccup, and Toothless, exiting through the side door.

"Hiccup!" She called.

He didn't hear her.

She approached them. Hiccup was talking to Toothless, and he didn't notice Astrid approaching.

"I'm so confused. Girls are so complicated," He told his dragon. Toothless Grunted. "Of all people to cut me so deep, I never would have expected it to be-" He looked up at her in surprise "ASTRID!?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Hiccup froze, and looked worried. "We weren't saying anything." He put his hands behind his back.

Astrid put her hands on her hips.

"We weren't talking, were we toothless?"

Astrid blew her hair out of her eyes.

"We wouldn't be talking about anything. Especially about you, Astrid," Hiccup floundered. "Well, I mean, we wouldn't be saying anything _bad_ about you. Only good things."

He grinned expectantly, hoping she would drop the matter.

Astrid smiled a little, remembering one of the reasons she liked him. Then she got serious.

"Listen Hiccup, there's something you should know."

Hiccup looked up at her.

"Yesterday, when you wanted to know why I liked you…"

Hiccup looked nervous.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Listen, I'm sorry Astrid." Hiccup said. "I'm not fooled this time."

Astrid looked confused. "Fooled? What are you talking about?"  
"You were faking it, all along."

"Faking? What? Hiccup!?"

**(Start the music here.)**

"You don't love me, Astrid. You never did."

His eyes began to water.

Astrid looked around helplessly, as if a solution would reveal itself. But nothing came.

"Wait, no. Hiccup!" she said.

"You know," Hiccup said, "It would have hurt a lot less if you would have told me at the beginning."

She stepped toward him. "Told you what? I really do love you!" she blurted desperately.

"You can stop pretending, the joke's over," Hiccup said. Tears began rolling down his cheeks.

Rain began to pour from the dark sky.

"Aww-" Astrid said, trying to hug Hiccup.

"No!" Hiccup sobbed, pushing her away.

"Aw Hiccup, don't do this!" she pleaded. She wanted to hug him so badly, but she knew that he would reject her.

"Hiccup?" she looked at him pleadingly. He buried his face into the Night Fury. His shoulders shook as he cried into his best friend.

"Hiccup?" Astrid said weakly. She turned to the black dragon "Toothless?" she said, looking into his huge sad eyes.

The large reptile unfolded his wing over hiccup to protect the boy from the rain and the two of them turned and walked away.

And Astrid was helpless. She hung her head in defeat. She could do nothing as Hiccup disappeared into the rain and left her. For good.

She still had the umbrella, but she dropped it to the ground. It splashed into a puddle.

Astrid realized that she was holding back tears. She blinked. She was drenched with rain already, so why not? Tears slid down her cheeks as she stood alone on the hill.

And she let them fall. They mixed with the rain.

Nobody walking by gave her soaked face a second glance.

Meanwhile, Hiccup made his way to the inn, supported by his dragon.

And Ruffnut was there waiting for him with two plates of salmon.

RULE NUMBER FOUR-

Lesson learned:

If a girl is crying, it's real. Their real tears. Don't learn this one the hard way. No Viking girl could (or would) fake crying. If you don't realize this, they will probably become angry and vengeful. Unless their soft, quiet, and nice. But that doesn't fall under the definition of the word Viking. So there you have it.

**Pr etty sad, huh? (Twice as sad with the music) Poor Astrid. What do all you Ruffnut/hiccup shippers have to say about that?**

**Astrid/Hiccup shippers, you are probably dying.**

**Snottlout/Fishlegs shippers… I'm just gonna stay far away from you guys.**

**So, if you're not a Snottlout/Fishlegs shipper, please tell me what you have to say, real quick- two seconds. That's all it takes. A little more if you're feeling generous.**


	5. Rule 5: Never be late to a date

**Once again you guys, thank you for all of the great reviews. The reviews I got for chapter four were certainly worth writing it. So here's another chapter.**

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CHAPTER FIVE

Ruffnut waited at the table. She shifted. She looked down, and smoothed down her clothes around her hips. Then she looked back up, and wondered if Hiccup was even coming. She sighed.

_If he is,_ she thought, _then he's finally left Astrid_.

Ruffnut realized that this meant she would probably have to fight Astrid later on. She would probably get a black eye out of it, but it was worth having Hiccup. Anything was worth Hiccup. She knew that for sure. She had liked Hiccup for a long time. And, of course, Astrid had to come along and ruin it.

_I should have done it sooner, _she scolded herself. _I shouldn't have been shy._

Then she relaxed a little. It didn't matter, anyway. She had Hiccup now. At least she was pretty sure. She frowned. What if he was just humoring her the last night, so he didn't get beat up? What if he turned around right when she left, and told Astrid the whole thing. If he did that, then she knew she would have to face Astrid sometime today. And Astrid would say, "Did you honestly think you stood a chance with Hiccup? Think you're equal to him in any way? Well, you're not. Look at me. I'm stronger, I'm faster, I'm more acrobatic. And I'm prettier." And then she would blow her hair out of her face in the conceited way that she always did. And Ruffnut would just hang her head in shame, because Astrid would be right.

_It's true, _Ruffnut thought. _I was crazy to have even tried._ Astrid was a lot better looking. Astrid's face was all… cute and round. And Ruffnut had this huge long face. Astrid's voice is all high and girly. Ruffnut's voice was hoarse, and pretty low for a girl.

Hiccup would never come. And she'd be left with two plates of Salmon. And when Hiccup didn't come, she'd probably eat them both, and get a stomach ache. And it would all go to her thickening waist. It was true. Ever since fighting dragons was abolished, she had been getting less exercise. And ever since Astrid had gotten with Hiccup, she had started to eat more. She placed a hand on her midsection and frowned. She was a little out of shape.

Astrid was a better specimen by far. But that could all change. If Hiccup gave her a chance, she would be able to become the girl of his dreams. If Hiccup came today, she would prove to him that they were meant for each other. She would be able to do everything Astrid didn't. She would be able to give Hiccup everything he needed. Ruffnut had worked hard for this chance, and she wasn't gonna let anybody ruin it for her. Especially herself.

Ruffnut groaned. She should have asked Tuffnut for some tips on how to act around Hiccup. But she had been too excited that she had gotten that far.

She heard the bell ring as the restaurant door opened. The pitter patter of the rain became louder and sharper. Ruffnut looked up. Framed in the doorway, was the silhouette of a small boy, with a soaked mop of hair. It was Hiccup.

Ruffnut smiled, and her heart raced as she approached him. "I knew you'd come-" Her smile faded. As she got closer, she realized he was not well. His body was slumped, and his head hung sadly. She looked closer. His eyes were red, as if he's been crying.

Ruffnut knew all about hiding tears. She'd spent many a night crying because Astrid had stolen Hiccup from her. And when someone walked in, she'd have to hide it.

This was not how she envisioned her first date with Hiccup. She imagined a lot of smiling and laughing, sharing stories, and afterward, he might walk her home… and they could share their first kiss.

But by looking at Hiccup, she could already guess that it was not going to go this way. "Hiccup, what happened?" Ruffnut asked. Hiccup wiped a tear.

_Oh no, Astrid. _She thought. _Doesn't she realize she's broken him? Of course not. Popular girls like Astrid have the lot to choose from. To her, Hiccup was dispensable. Astrid has no regard for sensitivity. She doesn't really love him. Not the way I do. _

"Hiccup, tell me." She grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes with worry or care. This was a side of Ruffnut that most people didn't believe existed. "Did she hurt you?"

Hiccup stood up straight, and cleared his throat. "No no," He insisted. "Well, I mean, yeah, but it's nothing I can't handle. Let's just sit down and have a good time." His tone was already changing, but there was still a hint of sadness lingering in his voice.

"Are you sure?" Ruffnut asked. "I can help make it better." She squeezed his hands. His eyes were still red. She put herself in his shoes. If it was her, she would want some time to compose herself.

"Oh by Thor, Hiccup," She said. "I forgot the drinks! Would you mind getting us some drinks? A warm cider would really hit the spot on a cold rainy day like this."

"Oh, right!" Hiccup said, taking the opportunity to leave. "How could I forget? The drinks are really important!"

Ruffnut nodded. She didn't want him to be any more nervous than before.

Hiccup said, "So then… I'll go and get the drinks. Yeah…," Hiccup said awkwardly. He walked away.

Ruffnut smiled. Even after becoming the hero of the island, he still wasn't socially comfortable. After all the years of being and put down by other kids. Namely, Astrid. She had always been the ring leader of the bully-Hiccup-club. The only reason that she even stood a chance with Hiccup after what she did was because Hiccup was too nice to hold a grudge.

She frowned. It was terrible. She had always treated Hiccup poorly, but still his loyalty remained unflagging; he kept coming back for more. And he put up Astrid's abuse with it all that time.

But now he could finally see. Ruffnut smiled, and smoothed down her skirt. And right now, Hiccup was probably getting rid of all traces of sadness, physical and mental.

Ruffnut felt guilty. She knew it had to happen all along. In order to be with her, Hiccup would first have to break up with Astrid. And she knew it would hurt him.

But it had to happen sooner or later. After so long, there would be another boy, and Astrid would drop him like a stone.

So she had done a good thing for him after all. Eventually, he would break up with Astrid. Except now, she was there to soften the blow, and make it easier.

RULE NUMBER FIVE-

Lesson learned:

On your first date, come early. A girl will wonder and fuss over if you are coming at all. She would doubt you , and start feeling that she's not good enough. So get there early. If you keep them waiting, they will think about you, but in a bad way. Eventually, they will leave, and your chance will be ruined. So get there early.

**So how do you like this chapter? You guys felt sorry for Astrid? Well, don't hate Ruffut, its not her fault that she's in love. Besides, she genuinely believes that Astrid is not being good for him. Review please, and the next chapter will come soon.**


	6. Rule 6: Adults can ALMOST always help

**Thanks a lot for reviews. I hope you like this chapter, i tried to add some humor into this one. Readers say that the iCarly stories I write are funny, but i haven't made this story funny yet, so here's my attempt.**

* * *

Hiccup Horrendous Haddoc the Third stood by the bar, waiting for two ciders. He drummed his fingers nervously. After looking around a little, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Then he coughed a little and cleared his throat. He resented Astrid, and what she had just put him through. But he smiled. He'd show her. Already, he had found someone else. He was on a date with Ruffnut now, and he was going to make it work. He didn't need Astrid.

Finally, the burly barman slammed two heartily filled mugs of cider onto the counter, carelessly spilling some when they banged on the wood surface. It quickly soaked into the arid counter.

"There ya' go, lad." He slid the foaming mugs of cider to Hiccup. "Takin' yer mother out fer dinner, are ya?" He asked gruffly.

"Um, ah, no," Hiccup said casually.

"But it is a girl, am I right?" the barman asked slyly.

"Yeah," Hiccup confirmed. "Someone special. I don't want to mess this one up."

"You know, I could give you some pointers before you meet her at the table." The barman offered.

"Really?" Hiccup said. The barman ignored his sarcasm.

"Oh, aye," he said, modestly examining a dragon tattoo on his meaty bicep. "I know a thing or two about wooing the ladies on this here island," He flexed his arm, which caused the dragon to perform a polka jig.

"Okay… I'll be going now…" Hiccup said, grabbing the two ciders.

"What, you don't believe me?" He asked incredulously, glancing at hiccup. "I got 'em all over me. Ya' need convincing?"

"Um, no… not really…" Hiccup stammered.

"Hey, Katrina!" He hollered. "How you doing, sweetheart? Why don't you come over here and give your Viking a big kiss?"

The room shook, and Hiccup struggled to keep the mugs from spilling.

In stomped a huge husky woman, who made the Big Burly Barman look like a small child.

The Big Burly Barman smiled craftily at her and patted his cheek. He said "Why don't you lay one right here, baby?"

The Viking lady rumbled a chuckle, and stooped down to reach him.

"See?" The Barman said, "Ain't she something? And there's gonna be more cuties coming over to massage my back and feel me biceps. What do you say? You want to stick around? There's plenty for everybody."

"Ah, um… I think I'll pass on this one." Hiccup said. He turned away. Hiccup didn't want to see the Barman's face being scratched up by the woman's prickly mustache.

He strode over to the table where Ruffnut was waiting. With images of grotesque facial hair not fully erased, he was grateful to accompany Ruffnut for dinner. His eyes widened as he realized how ladylike she was.

He had always seen Ruffnut next to Tuffnut, and kind of paired the two together. Never had he fully appreciated the idea that Ruffnut was a fully developed Viking girl in her own right. And she was by no means unattractive. Quite the contrary, in fact. His eyes slid from her feet, along her legs, past her waist, all the way up to her face. Ruffnut was staring at him, smirking playfully.

"You done staring at my body, Hiccup?" She asked.

"Yeah, now I'm staring at you're face," He said.

She smiled.

"You… You look pretty tonight," He said shyly.

"Of course I do," Ruffnut said, though she was secretly overjoyed at this comment.

They both took a swig of cider, and prepared for a fun, yet awkward night.

RULE NUMBER SIX

Lesson learned.

Lesson learned: Take advice form an adult whenever you can. The girls that they are with are by no means the best, but they have experience that could help you from making the same mistakes that they made in the past.

**Sorry, I know its really short, I'm sorry. I've been busy all week. I'll try to make another chapter as soon as i have time. but I have alot of homework, i'm really swamped. I'll try to make time to get annother chapter in as soon as i'm able to. Review please.**


	7. Rule7: Walk her home

Fishlegs couldn't believe his eyes. Right before him, lay a black deadly nadder with yellow stripes, and no face. There it lay, crashed on the ground. It had no eyes. It had no mouth. No nose. Nothing. Its face looked like it had been torn clean off. The skull was visible in some places. And it smelled. Horrible. Smelled like raw meat, sitting out in the sun. The creature twitched and writhed in pain.

Fishlegs didn't know what to think of it. He stared in shock, and then he noticed that one of the horns on its head was broken off at the base, and it had a bronze prosthetic in the place of an actual horn.

He began to breathe quickly. He ran up to it, and studied the bronze horn. Engraved on it, was the name YARAK. Fishlegs knew the name. He now recognized the dragon. It belonged to the Yarak family, and it had gone missing the week before. Here it was now, somehow managing to flap blindly ashore, after weeks lost over the sea.

Fishlegs grimaced. He needed to report this to the tribe leader, immediately. He thought about trying to move the dragon. Then he shook his head, and decided it was a bad idea. Far better to go and bring Stoick to the dragon.

"O- Okay Arrow, be a good dragon while I go get help."

Fishlegs ran back to Viking hall, where he found Stoick and Gobber.

"Stoick!" Fishlegs cried. "There's… a dragon. On shore. Arrow."

"You found him?" Gobber asked.

"Yes, but he's… injured."

A grave expression passed Stoick's face.

"Let me see him."

Fishlegs led the tribe leader to where the poor beast lay, breathing hard. "So can the Yarak family still take care of him?"

"I'm afraid not," Stoick grunted. "The Yarak family went out to sea, looking for the dragon. They won't be back for a while."

Fishlegs looked confused. "Well then… where will he stay? He can't take care of himself."

Stoick nodded. "Of course. That's why you'll be taking care of him."

"Me?" Fishlegs said. "But I already have a dragon!"

"It'll just be until the Yaraks get back."

"But… he can't see… he can't hear, he can't…"

"I'm sure you'll find a way." Stoick said as he walked off.

Fishlegs stared at the dragon laying before him, with its face wrapped fully in cotton bandages, and took a deep breath. He had a long way to go…

* * *

Meanwhile, Ruffnut closed the door to her house. She smiled contentedly. Hiccup had just walked her home.

"Hey Tuff!" She yelled. "I did it! He came!"

"He walked you home?" Tuffnut said lazily, slumped on a couch while eating a pear.

"Yep," she said happily.

"Good for you. But I'm sure he'd find you more alluring if you ate less and exercised more."

Ruffnut looked down at her waist, then looked back at her brother and said, "You know its only a little thicker. And its only been since dragon training ended."

"Sure," Tuffnut said, "But dragon training isn't about to start up again, is it?"

"I guess your right." Ruffnut said. She put a hand on her waist. "I'll get in shape"

"Look, sis," Tuffnut said. "All you have to do is look less like this piece of fruit I'm eating. Then maybe you'd fit into your old skirt." He allowed a grin to break through.

Ruffnut dived onto her brother, and they wrestled and brawled on the ground. Ruffnut ended up pinning her brother to the ground.

Then they heard a knock on the door. They froze in mid-brawl.

Tuffnut ran up and opened the door. Standing there, in the doorway, was... Fishlegs.

**Lesson learned: Walk her home**

Don't walk her home all the time, because sometimes its just creepy, but sometimes, it can add the final touch to a perfect date, but only if its not a ridiculously long walk. But if its convinient, then why should the date end after you leave? Go ahead and walk her home. Then once you're at the door, thank her, and then who knows? It may be the perfect time and place for a kiss...


	8. Rule8: sorry, no rules in this chapter

"Fishlegs?" said Ruffnut.

"Yeah, hey you guys," Fishlegs said. "I have to babysit a faceless dragon."

They stared in confusion.

So Fishlegs explained his entire predicament.

"Wow," said Tuffnut, "Tight pickle, huh?"

"Yeah," sighed Fishlegs.

"Here," Said Tuffnut, dashing into his room. "I think I have something that might help."

"Fishlegs waited while Tuffnut rummaged around his junk, finally pulling a large bronze object."

"What is it?" Fishlegs asked.

"It's a dragon mask," said Tuffnut.

"I… I don't think it would fit me…" said Fishlegs, tentatively trying on the enormous mask. "And besides, how would looking like a dragon help me?"

"No, you idiot, it's not for you," snapped Tuffnut. "Its for the dragon,"

Fishlegs said, "So you're giving me a dragon mask… for a dragon to wear."

"Yes," Said tuffnut. "It's a battle mask that I made."

"Yeah," Said Ruffnut, "But you made the eye holes too narrow, didn't you, bro?"

"So what?" He snapped. "The eyes look really cool that way."

"But no dragon can wear it," His sister pointed out.

"No, the Faceless Nadder can wear it." Tuffnut shot back, " He can't see in the first place, so this mask will look extra fierce on him, and it will protect his sensitive wounds."

Fishlegs looked at the mask. I did look exceptionally fierce. And it was better than the dragon walking around without a face.

"Thanks you guys," said Fishlegs, admiring the gleaming bronze mask.

He walked out the door, still turning the mask in his hands.

On the way home, he reached the poor Nadder, named Arrow.

"Hey Arrow," Fishlegs said gently. "I got you a mask."

Arrow shook his neck and ruffled his scales. He stumbled up blindly.

"Shhh, its okay." Fishlegs said. "This mask will protect you."

The dragon seemed unconvinced.

"And it'll make you look awesome," Fishlegs added.

The dragon stepped forward eagerly. Fishlegs slowly applied the gleaming bronze helmet. After it was secured, the dragon reared up to its full height, and Stretched its wings. Fishlegs backed up in awe. The dragon looked impressive now, just like any other dragon wearing a battle mask. Fishlegs applied some reigns to the mask and walked the dragon to his house. As he walked down the road, Vikings passed him by without a second glance at the now- normal looking dragon, that was stumbling uncertainly, slowly being led by Fishlegs. The only comment that was made about the dragon was by an old Viking, who said, "My, what a marvelous mask your dragon is wearing."

Fishlegs stopped in front of his house, and the dragon went to sleep. There he found Hiccup, who just happened to pass by. "Woah, Fishlegs!" He exclaimed. "You got a new dragon? Oh, and that's a really cool battle mask."

Fishlegs was just about to explain that the dragon was handicapped, and that it was not his dragon, but Hiccup pushed Fishlegs onto the napping dragon, and mounted Toothless.

"So you must be really excited to battle with it, huh?" Hiccup asked.

"I- ah-" Fishlegs stammered.

Hiccup slapped Arrow on the behind, and the Nadder got up to its full height. Fishlegs had to hold on tight to avoid falling off, as the dragon was larger than the average Nadder.

"Okay, ready? GO!" Hiccup yelled.

Fishlegs covered his eyes. He couldn't look. He waited to be pushed off the handicapped dragon. But he wasn't. Instead he just felt the dragon take a battle stance, and swat something out of the air with his tail.

Fishlegs opened his eyes, to see toothless sprawled on the ground. The night fury scrambled back to its feet in a flash, and wasted no time getting in the air. The night fury dived down on the Nadder in a deadly swoop, but once again, the blind and deaf dragon somehow sensed Toothless' presence. Just as Toothless was almost on the Nadder, it Spun, and slashed him with its wings, forcing him to stop in mid dive. Then, as Toothless flapped clumsily, as night furies were not good at hovering, the Nadder head butted him.

Toothless landed hard on the ground, and backed away in a slow retreat.

Fishlegs was amazed. He quickly explained the situation to Hiccup, who was confused, since the dragon did a pretty good job of defending itself.

"Maybe it has, like, a sixth sense," Hiccup suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," Fishlegs agreed. "The book of dragons says that dragons might have an extra sense that humans don't have."

"Well, in any event, your dragon's lucky," Hiccup said, "Because… well… sorry I didn't ask before battling your dragon."

"I'm just glad he survived, said Fishlegs,"

"Well, lets go Toothless," Hiccup said. "We need to get you cleaned up."

Indeed, toothless was pretty muddy from the battle. So he accompanied his master to the beach.

Fishlegs, however, was left alone with Arrow, the dragon who had mysteriously shown snap-action fighting skills, with no way of knowing his opponent was even there.


End file.
